Five Apes In A Cage

Five Apes In A Cage

Put five apes in a cage. In the middle of a cage is a set of steps, and at the top of the steps is a banana hanging from the top of the cage. When the first ape starts up the steps, blast all five apes with ice cold water from a firehose for five minutes. When the next ape starts up the steps, do it again. Then put the firehose away.

The third time an ape starts up the steps, wait. The other apes will beat the shit out of the ape. Now take one of the apes out, put in a new ape. He’ll start up the steps – and the other apes will promptly beat the shit out of him. Replace another ape – and the other four – including the ape who never got hit with the water – will beat him to a pulp. Repeat the process, one by one, until you have five ‘new’ apes in the cage.

They’ll never let one of the apes up the steps. And if you were to ask why, the answer would be simple:

“Because that’s the way it’s always been done.”