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The Tennents Of Buellerism

Created by dave. Last edited by dave, 13 years and 109 days ago. Viewed 3,477 times. #2
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  • Get along with everyone. Strive to be welcomed by all: the sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads. Be a righteous dude.
  • Look out that window. How can you possibly be expected to handle school/work/insert-worry-here on a day like this?
  • Your parents are clueless, but they love you. And the key to faking them out is the clammy hands.
  • Lay off your brother; he loves you.
  • Your sister loves you, but she also knows your full of shit.
  • It is no problem whatsoever to always provide ALL pertinent information on any given subject.
  • Stay cool. Remember: when the meek get pinched, the bold survive.
  • Never condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. Quote John Lennon often, as he knew what he was talking about: he was the Walrus who never had to bum rides off people.
  • Never say no to a limo - particularly a nice stretch job with a TV and a bar.
  • Distrust authority or anyone that has a problem with a little bending of the rules. Only rules you gotta follow are the ones that keep you out of the police station. Otherwise you’ll end up like Charlie Sheen. Sorry - Charlie Sheen’s CHARACTER.
  • Gordie Howe was #9 on the Detroit Red Wings.
  • Hide in plain sight. Lip-sync in the face of danger.
  • Always park your own car.
  • Always lock the garage. And running a car in reverse doesn’t turn the mileage back.
  • Take some time for yourself, every once in awhile. At least nine times a year.
  • If people don’t like your policies, they can smooch your big ol’ white (or other shade) butt. Pucker up, Buttercup.
  • Play only by the rules if you enjoy gym.
  • In any zero/zero score game, there’s always a winner: The Bears.
  • A fifth grade threat still packs an amazing amount of influence.
  • Between grief and nothing, take grief.
  • The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. This was akin to something d-o-o economics. “Voodoo” economics.
  • You can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.
  • Stay in bed when you’re ill; in your weakened condition, you could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject yourself to further school absences.
  • The word “asshole” is French.
  • Don’t go to college all wound up so tight, or your roommate will kill you.
  • Don’t let the snooty or the snotty stand in the way of a good time. Let ‘em know who you are: Abe Froman - the Sausage King of Chicago.
  • Youth will always leave the cheese of the old out in the wind.
  • You can never go too far. But if you’re gonna get busted, don’t let it be by a guy like THAT.
  • Don’t live your life like you’re in some kind of museum that’s very beautiful and very cold, where you’re not allowed to touch anything.
  • Swing, batta.
  • Les jeux sont faits!
  • Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.
(Via >>Silent Bob Speaks)
January 2011
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This is a collection of techical information, much of it learned the hard way. Consider it a lab book or a /info directory. I doubt much of it will be of use to anyone else.

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