Get along with everyone. Strive to be welcomed by all: the sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads. Be a righteous dude.
Look out that window. How can you possibly be expected to handle school/work/insert-worry-here on a day like this?
Your parents are clueless, but they love you. And the key to faking them out is the clammy hands.
Lay off your brother; he loves you.
Your sister loves you, but she also knows your full of shit.
It is no problem whatsoever to always provide ALL pertinent information on any given subject.
Stay cool. Remember: when the meek get pinched, the bold survive.
Never condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. Quote John Lennon often, as he knew what he was talking about: he was the Walrus who never had to bum rides off people.
Never say no to a limo - particularly a nice stretch job with a TV and a bar.
Distrust authority or anyone that has a problem with a little bending of the rules. Only rules you gotta follow are the ones that keep you out of the police station. Otherwise you’ll end up like Charlie Sheen. Sorry - Charlie Sheen’s CHARACTER.
Gordie Howe was #9 on the Detroit Red Wings.
Hide in plain sight. Lip-sync in the face of danger.
Always park your own car.
Always lock the garage. And running a car in reverse doesn’t turn the mileage back.
Take some time for yourself, every once in awhile. At least nine times a year.
If people don’t like your policies, they can smooch your big ol’ white (or other shade) butt. Pucker up, Buttercup.
Play only by the rules if you enjoy gym.
In any zero/zero score game, there’s always a winner: The Bears.
A fifth grade threat still packs an amazing amount of influence.
Between grief and nothing, take grief.
The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. This was akin to something d-o-o economics. “Voodoo” economics.
You can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.
Stay in bed when you’re ill; in your weakened condition, you could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject yourself to further school absences.
The word “asshole” is French.
Don’t go to college all wound up so tight, or your roommate will kill you.
Don’t let the snooty or the snotty stand in the way of a good time. Let ‘em know who you are: Abe Froman - the Sausage King of Chicago.
Youth will always leave the cheese of the old out in the wind.
You can never go too far. But if you’re gonna get busted, don’t let it be by a guy like THAT.
Don’t live your life like you’re in some kind of museum that’s very beautiful and very cold, where you’re not allowed to touch anything.
Swing, batta.
Les jeux sont faits!
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.
This is a collection of techical information, much of it learned the hard way. Consider it a lab book or a /info directory. I doubt much of it will be of use to anyone else.